I am thankful for temple marriage. I am thankful for the knowledge and the opportunity I have to be with my honey for eternity. I am thankful for the knowledge that I have of eternal families. I am thankful that I know how important temples are to eternal families. I am thankful that Brent wants to be with me for eternity. He is such a good guy.

Ugh

I hate when pregnant people complain about how much they hate being pregnant. I'm sure that they feel like that sometimes...but maybe they should be grateful that they are going to have a baby? I dunno....just an observation that I made today.

Last BYU observation....CHECK!

a good day to drive

Woo-hoo!

I'm sick of having that last post be on top. So.....I'm gonna add a post. And this one will be a happy one. So there.My BYU supervisor came today to observe me. I always get nervous when she comes because, lets face it, she controls my grade. And she really controls my ability to graduate IN DECEMBER!! But, guess what people, my score was 10 percentage points higher this time than it was last time. Basically, I am pretty awesome. Or maybe it means that last time I just really sucked and so there wasn't anywhere to go but up? Nahhhhh, not that one.

She is coming again on Tuesday for the last time! Did you read that? THE LAST TIME! No more observations from her after that! I really cannot wait until I graduate. I'm still not having any luck finding a teaching job. There just don't seem to be any opening up anywhere. But.....I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Maybe if you crossed yours too? That would probably help. Thanks peeps.

Here is to a VERY busy next few weeks. I have a lot to accomplish, but I know I can do it. Yeah for Mrs. Hirz!

I can already tell....

This is my blog, so I get to blog about things I want too. Feel free to skip this one....

....that this is going to be a long, hard week for many reasons.

There are the little things that will make this week seem long....the school work that I have to get done, my BYU supervisor coming to observe me (again), the lack of restful sleep I have been getting...but there will also be the bigger, more emotional things to make this week long.

I can't believe that this is the week I should be going to the hospital, having a beautiful Hirz baby. Has it already been that long? Sometimes I'm still so emotional over the whole thing that it doesn't seem possible. Was I really in the doctor's office about 6 months ago hearing heartbreaking news? How can it have been so long ago, but still seem so current and hurt so much? I hate crying to Brent because it just makes him sad too. But, he always makes me feel better, no matter what. I stand by the fact that I have the most amazing husband in the whole world and that with him, there is a bright side to everything. The good thing is that I am so busy at school I don't have time to think too much about it. The bad thing, I have time once I'm in bed for the night trying to fall asleep.

I'll get through this week. And I'll get through the next. And I'll even get through the one after that. This week will just be a long one to handle. However, I am extremely blessed. And I am grateful for that.

Welcome to Holland

by Emily Pearl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Yes, we are still alive.

Just so everyone knows, we are alive and well.

Both of us are extremely busy right now with school and work. We don't see each other too often...I miss my husband all of the time. But, we are both doing good things and so I keep telling myself that this is worth it.

I only have 5 weeks (Thanksgiving week doesn't count) of student teaching left. I am really loving the experiences I am having. My mentor teacher is a-ma-zing! I don't think there could have been a better fit for me. She is a party all the time. The kids I teach are hilarious. Junior high is such a fun age. I honestly can't believe that I am this close to being done. FIVE WEEKS?!?! Wow, is the world ready for Carolyn? I sure hope so...because I am running at it full speed. Now if I could just find a job....

Brent is busy with school and work. He really needs a vacation right about this time of the semester. He is getting burnt out. Classes suck, but he keeps going. He is such a trooper and hanging in like a champ. He is great at his job, even though Staples kinda sucks. I am so proud of him for doing so much for me. He is the greatest husband I could have ever asked for.

We are both blessed beyond measure. We have wonderful opportunities and awesome families. While we are busy, we do know how lucky we are. We love you all and yes, we are still alive. Don't worry!

PS, we got our plane tickets home! We will be in Moses Lake from Sunday night, December 20 to Monday morning, December 28. Hooray for going home!